i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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