Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
