You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
