new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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