Can i not drive my cunt home
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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