currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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