i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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