i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
