it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
