I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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