what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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