Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
