I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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