9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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