He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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