whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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