he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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