I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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