I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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