Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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