Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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