He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
