And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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