Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
