i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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