Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
