i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
