id be glad to
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
