did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
