just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
