Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n