he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid