He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.