Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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