Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize