No stitches, just platelets and will power
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
