i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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