He passed out mid-signature
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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