is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
