She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
