just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
