I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
