Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
