no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
time to smoke my breakfast
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
