Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
