I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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