Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
