went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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