Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
