Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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