i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
