she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
