do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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