there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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