its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
