just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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