Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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