When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
