It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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