My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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