he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Can you bring me the toilet please
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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