my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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