Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
