so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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